Wasting time in my windowless office when I should be getting ready for trial tomorrow.
The view from the veranda this morning was awfully nice.
But the horizon is a little crooked, eh? If P were here she'd download the photo and fix it. She's not, however, and the slanting bay seems an apt metaphor for how life feels about now.
Why this extremely negative attitude toward my work, the thing that pays for the plane and the condo and lots of other nice things? I don't know. Maybe the loss of agency that goes with being a trial lawyer, never having control of one's schedule while carrying around other people's burdens for a fee.
It takes me back to what was one of my favorite comic strips from the time I was in college until I left for law school: Matt Groening's epic series, Life in Hell.
This was the exact book among many LIH offerings that I had on my shelf until 10.10.18. Not sure what became of it after that day.
If the characters look vaguely familiar, it's because Groening went on to create The Simpsons, probably the most successful animated franchise of all time.
The cynical edginess of The Simpsons was already manifest in Life in Hell, but the product was far darker and more political.
The protagonist in most of the strips is Binky, a work-drone rabbit who always seems to suffer from an extreme case of existential funk, always finds himself confronted with how arbitrary and meaningless life feels as a cubicle worker.
That's his look in pretty much every frame, whether getting his heart broken by some female rabbit or enduring humiliation at the hands of his boss.
Binky's son, Bongo, is missing an ear and finds himself constantly in trouble with the authorities because he either mocks their rituals (his ad libbing of the Pledge of Allegiance with absurdist or leftist language was a staple), or refuses to buy the bromides the right is selling.
That cartoon was from 1991. Wow. This fight's been happening my entire adult life.
The only happy, well adjusted characters are Akbar and Jeff, a fez wearing gay couple back when that was decidedly not okay.
Not only are they the embodiment of a healthy romantic relationship, but they're also quite entrepreneurial.
Time to start thinking about something other than Akbar and Jeff. Already this morning I've been interrupted at my computer three times: once to reminisce about the firm open house in Friday, once with an ethics issue someone's wrestling with, and once with questions about tomorrow's trial. I have calls stacked up all day again, some having to do with this trial that's supposed to be my focus. This is why I work from home. This is why I'm going to stop taking new litigation matters after this round of trials. My friend Mac told me yesterday it took him five years from a moratorium on new trial work until he closed his last file. That would take me nearly to 66 years old. It's time.
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