The five stages - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance - are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief.
I read this morning a news article from Australia about an orangutan in a zoo that "launched" a possum, tossing it like a football to its likely demise from atop a tower.
Dean has spent the morning pushing his way into my lap, trying to stick his face and his paw into my bowl of granola, slapping at my hands to quit typing and pet him. He had best hope I don't get any ideas. Then again, I seem to be a couple phases past anger, to the extent one processes loss in a linear way (which I sort of doubt). He's probably safe, and has obviously surmised as much given that he's curled up and snoring below the keyboard.
A black fog this morning, so I'll be brief. Life is just lousy right now. I guess it's a natural progression, as Kubler-Ross suggests. This is the first day of mostly just abiding after weeks of death and loss, natural disaster and its aftermath. And all those things have led to neglect of the remaining good things in my life, and of paying work and maintaining some semblance of physical health. I've lost twelve pounds this summer while barely exercising. Not a good sign. And coming back to Corning for a few days hasn't fixed anything. Sometimes I'm better as an abstraction.
This too will pass, but my inner pessimist reminds me it may well be replaced by something worse.
Time to dive into the blessed distraction of work. Enough whining. But I do feel pretty low, and don't see it improving anytime soon.
Come to Boston this weekend. I don't have any tractors but we do have a lot of trees down and I hear you are an expert in the field. Can also offer discounted drone training